Chronic illness, crafting and cake.
I wish I could rest.
Real, deep, fulfilling rest. Laying my head down on a soft pillow and closing my eyes, without feeling the anvil resting on my chest. Sitting in the sun and listening to the birds in the trees, without feeling the heat of the sun’s rays set fire to my skin, my body scream from the exertion of my pose, and my mind in agony for being too long away from home. To just be – without being ill.
Knitting colourwork has never been my strong suit. Besides my complete inability to choose cohesive colour schemes, the technical skills involved in stranded knitting and intarsia always seemed beyond me. Recently, I’ve decided to challenge myself and take on a colourwork project to broaden my skill set.
The pattern that tempted me was Ysolda’s Saudade. With a traditional Fair Isle pattern and the colours already selected for me in a kit in her shop, it seemed the perfect way to dip my feet in.
My psychologist refers to it as “the moment you realise the world is not a safe place.” I prefer to see it as a realisation that you have no control over your life – that your carefully laid plains mean nothing, anything can happen to anyone at any given time, and there’s nothing you can do about it. For me, this realisation occurred when I first fell ill 7 years ago, and continues to occur again and again as this illness unravels everything I thought I knew about life.
There has been some really exciting research into ME/CFS lately, with a particular focus on auto immunity, discovering biomarkers and measuring biological responses in the body. Let’s hope this is an end to the era of the pointless “psychobabble” study of ME/CFS! Continue reading “ME/CFS research matters”
Warning: contains GIF
Above: an image from Me Made May. I had to cut the month short (documenting at least) due to illness.
I’ve been a bit quiet lately as I’ve been down and out with this virus that’s going around. I know, I know – there’s nothing more tedious than someone complaining about having a cold, especially on their blog! But viruses hit the chronically ill a lot harder than they do able-bodied folks. Continue reading “Do you want some sickness on top of your sickness?”
I mentioned in my post about my Ottobre 5/2016 tee that I liked the turtleneck style so much, I quickly moved on to the Named Paola Turtleneck Tee. When I started this project, I realised this was the ideal opportunity to use up some neglected fabrics in my stash, and make the perfect (or perfectly daggy) 70s outfit.
Continue reading “A very 70s outfit – Named Paola Turtleneck Tee and Ottobre 5/2016 #6 tweed skirt”
For the most part, X-Men: The Last Stand was an entirely forgettable movie. (Too many plot devices, messy direction, and how many characters can you kill off in one film?)
But there was one scene which stuck with me, and resonates now that I have a chronic illness. Rogue and Storm are debating the ethics of a new drug which can remove (or “cure”) the powers of a mutant.
Rogue: Is it true? Can they cure us?
Prof. Charles Xavier: Yes, Rogue. It appears to be true.
Storm: No, Professor. They can’t cure us. You want to know why? Because there’s nothin’ to cure. Nothing’s wrong with you. Or any of us, for that matter.
